Well, Not Really

After having sat next to me at Church, a lecture, or a concert, I've had a number of people tell me throughout my life:

"Taylor, you're great and all, but I kind of hate sitting next to you." 

Some are less obvious and disguise their annoyance by simply stating through gritted teeth, 

"Wooww...You sure do move around A LOT!" 

One of my friends said this same thing to me a few weeks ago at Church, and I responded politely laughing, "Oh, I know! I'm just antsy!" 

"So you never really sit still at all?" She asked

"No not really," Said I smiling.

To which she very seriously replied, "Oh, that's sad."

*coughing and a moment of eye contact as my smile fades

"Oh, I didn't know I had anything to be sad about...til now," I stated flatly, "Crap."

No, I'm not good at sitting still (I say "I'm not good at it," as if it is some talent all good boys work hard to develop somewhere between t-ball and spitting off rooftops.) 

Look, I have to move around, ok?

First of all, I have a bad back, which my friends use to make fun of me for, because at 18 I was taking a pillow to the library. Those harsh chairs were just torture for my poor, aching back. They called me an "old man." Which boosted the ol' self-esteem by leaps and bounds.

"HAHA...YOU'RE LIKE A...LIKE A...LIKE AN OLD MAN...A REALLY LITTLE OLD MAN!" Thanks, the chicks are gonna dig it. 

But its really hard for me to sit still, because my spine starts to ache which shoots up into my shoulders and down into my legs. I gotta keep the muscles moving.

Secondly, I only have about a thousand nervous ticks. For instance, I don't like any part of my body to be flat on any piece of furniture or the floor. I hate to put my feet flat on the floor, my hand flat on an arm wrest, my butt flat on a chair, or my back flat on the bed. 

(Yep, Taylor's kind of different) 

It's just a weird tick I have like people who cry when they see butterflies or rubber bands. Whatever the reason, I don't enjoy sitting still, so I don't. If you tell me to sit still, I'll try. Probably what will happen, however, is the nervous energy will build up and I'll start screaming and bleeding from the eyes. This really interrupts the sermon. 

So, my blog is called "Sitting Still." Therefore, for my first post I would like to say that the title of my blog is in fact...

A load of crap.

There are some negatives to not being able to sit still:

You get distracted

You never really listen

You get tired easily

You are uncomfortable which leads to being unsatisfied

All these are reason TO sit still.

However, I don't think I would change this part of me (There are about 100 other things I would change...like I would have my beard and hair be the same color). But I see too many people "sitting still" all around me. There are too many people resigning themselves to the sitting position and remaining there until the moss begins to grow. I see people being told what to believe and mimicking it at home. However, this doesn't amount to much because they aren't all that active in living out what they believe. I see too many people without a dream simply earning the buck so they can enjoy their time...sitting still. 

I believe that we were intended to bleed out an energy that causes us to achieve the impossible and sail to the moon. I believe that we were meant to move about creation freely and feel the wind in our hair and eyes. We are made to move and to accomplish. We are made to move and experience. We are made to move and fall. We are made to move and soar. 

Don't tell me to sit still! I can't handle it. If you want to come over and dance or run lets do it. But, please don't tell me to sit still!

Oh, but could you move over a little bit...I kind of need to tilt your direction, because I don't like sitting flat. Yeah, now that really is annoying. I agree.